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Daddy, Part 1

Posted on Friday March 5, 2021 @ 1:37pm by Trinity Anderson
Edited on on Saturday March 6, 2021 @ 9:16pm

Mission: Lower Decks
Location: Starfleet Medical - Earth
Timeline: May 12, 2385

(Apologies, this is a bit dark)

Daddy, are you out there?
Daddy, won't you come and play?
Daddy, do you not care?
Is there nothing that you want to say?
I know
You're hurting, too
But I need you, I do
Daddy, if you're out there
Daddy, all I wanna say
You're so far away
Oh, you're so far away
That's okay
That's okay
I'm okay

- Lyrics from Coldplay's Daddy

Trinity Anderson’s face was full of concern as she gazed at the form of the man who lay in front of her on the biobed. The clam shell arms of the biobed were extended from its sides to cover his midriff. Mounted on the bulkhead atop the bed were various biosensor displays spitting out vital information about the health of the man, but to Trinity, they were meaningless numbers and graphs, though she desperately wished she could decipher them.

Trinity wiped away the tears streaming down her face for what seemed like the umpteenth time. But unlike a few hours ago, her cry was quieter this time although the intensity of her grief had not dwindled. If anything, it was heightened. However, she had managed to restrain herself, though not without some effort. Her hands were crossed across her chest and clenched in something of a self-hug, but more of a restraint to stop the heaving of her chest, which it was wont to do out of a need to wail her sorrow endlessly.

The man was sleeping blissfully, his brunette hair scattered across his face from the tossing and turning he had done as he writhed in pain before finally finding his sleep. She thought she could see the embers of the pain on his face even as he seemed to sleep peacefully. It was in the way his face was contorted – in the seriousness of his expression and the conspicuous absence of that relaxed and easy-looking gaze of his

Ever so delicately, Trinity parted the strands of hair away to reveal the full features of his face. She glanced at his closed eyelids masking the piercing brownness of his eyes. His thin nose made a low hissing noise as it drew in and out the air that kept him alive. His lips were slanted at the corners in a slight frown.

She sat there looking at him missing the times when his smile had been like the star to her world. It was around it that her entire life orbited. There was something astronomical about the twinkle of his eye. His smile had a way of giving her warmth, putting her at ease and dissolving any anger, fear, or worry.

But that was all in the past now…the happy times had disintegrated the moment he stepped into that engine room to save the lives of seventy-seven passengers, including his daughter…

Trinity felt her eyes welling up again at the sight of what remained of her father. She clenched tightly to her arms restraining her chest out of fear that she was about to burst out into another uncontrollable crying fit. The nurses had already warned her that if she did not stop crying, they would have to remove her from the room and deny her the small comfort of watching her father die.

It all still felt like a horrible dream. Trinity had pinched herself many times, expecting to wake up but reality was cruel, and this was no dream.

Her father was indeed dying from severe radiation poisoning having been exposed to delta rays in his attempt to fix a sabotaged transport ship. He had succeeded, but at great personal cost to himself.

Just like that her star went nova and obliterated all that was in its path. His smiles had ceased, replaced by incessant pain that they had to put him down, and even still, Trinity could still tell from his facial expression that he was in pain. She wished there were something she could do for him to make the pain go away.

Caressing his cheek, she smiled at him as she took his left hand in hers, "You're going to be fine," she said in a voice barely above a whisper as tears streamed down her face. She knew the prognosis was dire…the doctors had mostly talked to her mother and brother, but Trinity had heard a few words here and there, and had seen the grave expression of her mother’s face ever so briefly before it was hidden behind that iron wall of decades of military experience and discipline.

Her brother had been the same – fifteen years her senior, his face had been as stoic as a Vulcan, which was not a far cry considering he had spent much his formative years on Vulcan.

Her mother and brother had tried to comfort her…speaking the same reassuring words that she was now repeating to her father, but unlike their words, hers lacked even the pretense of conviction. If there was something Trinity was terrible at (and there were a great many things she was terrible at) it was faking her emotion.

Her father was going to die…she knew that now, but she still refused to accept it. A part of her wondered whether if she were stubborn enough not to accept it, he would somehow pull off a miracle.

“Such irrational thinking,” she could hear her brother say, chastising her yet again for her “meaningless and illogical sentiments”.

“Tee,” a voice called to her and Trinity turned to see her mother behind her. She looked somehow older, and there was a cold detached look on her face as if this were the only way she could cope with the love of her life on his death bed. “You need to get some rest. Jax is going to take you home.”

“But I want to stay with dad,” Trinity protested.

“No buts Tee…you’ve been here for six hours straight. Besides, we need to get you out of those clothes and get you to eat something.”

“I’m not hungry!” Trinity yelled. “I want to stay!”

“I’ll let you know if anything changes,” her mother continued, surprisingly calm in the face of teenage angst. She turned to Jackson, “Jax take your sister home…and make sure she stays there.”

Jackson nodded and stepping forward in view of Trinity, he beckoned her to him. “Come now sister, the sooner we leave, the quicker you will be able to get back.”

Trinity looked at the still form of her father, checking for the slow rise of his chest and the soft hiss from his nose that indicated he was still alive. He had to stay that way, regardless of what everyone else said. What did they all know anyway? They knew nothing about the strength of her father – Federation Captain and decorated war hero…and the best father any little girl could wish for.

Trinity felt her mother’s hand on her shoulder. “He’ll still be here when you get back,” she said with a smile, except Trinity saw it was not the usual pleasant smile but more of a sad smile that lacked the usual twinkle in the eye.
Trinity sighed, resigned to the will of her mother and brother. The truth was she could not fight them even if she wanted to. She was hungry and in horrible need of rest, but she had feared that if she left his side, he would give up the ghost. Her mother’s words however were reassuring, and her brother’s logic made sense.

The quicker she left to change and eat, the quicker she could be back by her father’s side.

Standing up from her chair, she gave her father a kiss on the cheek before turning to face her brother who quickly led her out of the hospital room…


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